Yesterday was 2 years my brother has been gone. And today is my mother's birthday. she already told me she hates her birthdays now because all they do is remind her that her son isn't here any longer. I sometimes wonder if she would be feeling this sad if it had been me instead. Oh, I know my mother loves me, but....... he was always her favorite. They had a very strong bond. I do understand why, because as a baby Joey was always sick and almost died. Once my mother told me that she never had to worry about me because she knew I could take care of myself. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous of my brother. As a matter of fact, when we were younger, we were very close. But a girl does need her mother, also.

I wish my parents could get online, it would make things so much easier to keep in touch. Phone calls do get expensive. They have a laptop, but have no idea how to use it or get online. No one is there to teach them. Wish there weren't so many miles between us. But there is no way I could move closer, not in my condition or fixed income. So we just have to be content with the few phone calls.

Joey, I miss you. Wish we could have talked a bit before you left us. I love you.

Mom, happy birthday. I love you.