One day when my husband was in the hospital, while sitting outside his room in ICU in tears, the hospital chaplain walked by. He saw my tears and stopped to say a few words. After that, he would stop by occasionally to talk if he saw me. During one of our talks, I mentioned that even though we were going through this hardship right now, how blessed we have been in our life together. My husband came into my life at just the right time, when my heart was beginning to harden. He showed me what real love was all about. True love. Unconditional love. After we had been married about 3 years, his mother came to live with us when she got sick and could not live alone anymore. She was a wonderful woman and she is the one who had taught her son how to be a good person.
Because of things life had thrown at my husband, he had not seen his older daughter for awhile and did not have a close relationship with her. But she came to the house to visit her grandmother and I met her. We slowly got to know one another and my husband and his daughter started seeing each other in a “different light” than what they saw before. They began their new relationship. It might not have happened if my mother-in-law had not been living with us and her grandchildren coming to the house to visit with her. So, even though we were losing a wonderful and dear woman, something good came out of it.
Same thing happened when my husband went into the hospital 9 years later. His 2 daughters had not seen each other for quite a few years and lost touch. Through visiting their father, they got in touch again. If they have stayed in touch or not, I'm not sure. But at least, their father saw and knew about them seeing each other, and talking and exchanging phone numbers and email addresses. It made him very happy. So even though we were losing him, something good came out of it.
The chaplain said that at a time like that, most people look at the dark side of things. I explained that my husband is the one who taught me to look at the good side of things. He never looked for the bad in people. He only saw the good in them. Several years ago, while he was mentoring 2 young men, I mentioned to my husband that they were stealing from him. He just replied that they must need it more than he did. That is the kind of man I married.
I tell my young granddaughters that Grandpa gave me a wonderful gift when he married me. He was a wonderful husband and he gave me a wonderful family. His daughter and her husband have been so good to me. She is more than a stepdaughter. She is a fabulous woman, wife and mother. And friend. Then, through her, I have 2 great, wonderful granddaughters who I love very much and who love me in return. Who could ask for more? My life is good.
I have read a lot of stories of women who lose a spouse and the spouse's children "throw the wife away". My husband's daughter did not do that to me. She was in pain because of losing her father, but she held me together. She helped me with the funeral arrangements and got me through the wake and funeral. She does not care that we are not "flesh and blood" as some do. We are family. They have me over to their home for holidays. We talk on the phone all the time. We email all the time. She always lets me know what is happening with my granddaughters. She lets me know I am loved.
I may have lost the love of my life and was not fortunate to have him for very long, but I gained so much because of him. My life is blessed. God has been good to me.