GrannyDiane's Space

New Baby

2011-12-21T19:53:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally broke down. My boys have been gone for awhile and it has been too quiet around here. And I missed having a cat in my life. So when my neighbor came knocking on my door asking if I wanted a kitten, I said yes.

The kitten is male and maybe about 2 months old. I'll have to ask for more info tomorrow. It's too late now to bother anyone.

Oh, if only my digital camera was working!! He is the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. What do I name him? Nothing comes to mind right now, but it can wait. If I take my time maybe just the right name will come to me.

He has been running around, exploring. He only let me hold him when he first came in. He has eaten a little food and drunk a little water. Hasn't used the litter box yet, though. He runs by me too fast to catch him but I want him to get used to being held. Have been talking to him so he can get used to my voice.

It's been too long since I have had a young kitten. Forgot how frisky they can be!

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!

2011-05-12T11:10:00.000-04:00

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!

Books

2011-02-28T08:08:00.008-05:00

Ever since I learned to read and picked up my first Nancy Drew, I have loved mysteries. Over the years have I read many different authors, but my favorite is and always will be Agatha Christie. Oh, how I wish I could have met her!! I have collected all of her books. That is how I am. When I find an author I enjoy, I like to read and re-read their books over again many times. Can't remember how many times I have read each book and story written by Agatha Christie.

In the early 1980's I discovered another author I enjoy. That is Charlotte Vale Allen. I have all of her books and have re-read them many times. She writes mainly about womens issues. Yesterday in the post "Secrets" I wrote about the latest book of hers I just finished reading. Knowing how much I loved her books, Tony surprised me one day (quite a few years ago now) and took me to a book-signing to meet Charlotte. What a wonderful person she is!

Well, I have a new favorite and love her books. It is my friend, Suzanne Embree. Can't wait for the next one! When I read her first one, "The Awakening of Hope", I just knew she had a future in writing and have been always waiting and looking for her next book. I have a shelf in my bookcase with her name on it, reserved for all her future works. Suzanne, I am so proud to say I know you!!

"Secrets"

2011-02-27T06:07:00.000-05:00

Finished reading 'Secrets" and still can't stop thinking about it. It held me tight and I could not put down the book until it was finished, staying up all night. "Secrets" is about a young widow who is trying to come to terms with the reality of her marriage. This book was written by Katharine Marlowe, and if you follow the link you will know who she really is. I have every one of her books. And have read most of them at least three 3 times, so far. This is my first time reading "Secrets" and it won't be the last, of course.

Secret Garden

2011-02-04T22:16:00.001-05:00

Just finished watching the Korean drama, Secret Garden. It has my favorite guy, Yoon Sang Hyun. He wasn't the lead but his role was just as important, as far as I'm concerned.

It starred Hyun Bin and Ha Ji Won as the leads. Both Yoon Sang Hyun and Hyun Bin lost a lot of weight before this drama. I thought they had lost too much, but toward the end of the drama I started to get used to their new look. I just hope they don't lose any more weight.

So now I am having withdrawal pains. I need to see more of Yoon Sang Hyun, our sweet man!

Playful Kiss/It Started with a Kiss/Itazura na Kiss

2011-01-05T06:40:00.008-05:00

Happy New Year!!

I realized I have not written anything here for a while. So I wanted to mention a drama I watched a few months ago. I like to see dramas that are remade from other dramas or mangas. I don't like to say I compare, but I guess in a way I do. Don't most of us compare things or people in our lives, even if we say we don't?

Anyway, I watched the Korean drama Playful Kiss (or Mischievous Kiss) (2010) last September. It starred Kim Hyun Joong from the group SS501. His co-star (or the leading lady), was Jung So Min. Of course, as usual, there are a lot of different opinions about the drama, the acting, everything. But I don't go along with other people's opinions. I know what I like and don't like. I thought it was a cute drama, but there were a couple of scenes I couldn't help comparing to the Taiwanese version, It Started with a Kiss (2005), starring Joe Cheung and Ariel Lin. I first saw Joe Cheung when he was in The Rose (2003).

Then the Japanese version of this story is Itazura na Kiss (1996) which I saw before any of these were ever made. It starred Kasiwabara Takashi, who I thought was a cutie back then, and Sato Aiko.

Of course, it all started with the manga Itazura na Kiss (1991-1999) by Tada Kaoru.The manga can be found here.

The scene that I did compare between "Playful Kiss" and "It Started with a Kiss" is, of course, the kiss in the rain, when the guy discovers he loves the girl. In ISWK, the scene was much longer and showed more emotion. In Playful Kiss, there wasn't a lot of emotion shown from Kim Hyun Joong (he didn't show much emotion throughout the whole series). In ISWK we were able to see how much the character of Jiang Zhi Shu changed and grew as a person. In Playful Kiss, we were not able to see all the subtle changes as there were only 16 episodes, where ISWK had 20 episodes. Joe Cheung did do a good job of letting us see the changes. But then Joe does have more experience in acting. I'm sure Kim Hyun Joong will grow and improve. He did do a much better job in Playful Kiss than he did in Boys Before Flowers (2009). I am looking forward to his next drama to see how much he has improved.

2010-09-03T09:15:00.002-04:00

I found this photo of Song Il Gook and like the very faint smile he has. It's so faint, it's almost not a smile, really. But I can't help going back to look at it again and again. Not sure why, but there is something about his almost-smile that I like.

anniversary

2010-08-29T05:35:00.024-04:00

To my Beloved,

I miss you more every day. And yesterday only made the hurt worse. If you were here with me, we would have been married 18 years. Some say time heals all wounds, but time has not healed this hurt. As time goes on, the pain just gets worse every year. I always told you I would love you forever.....and after.

I remember how upset you would get whenever your wedding ring fell off and the time I came home from work to find you in tears because you couldn't find it. I told you not to worry, we would find it. And we did. We always did better when we figured things out together. Well, now it's my turn to have my wedding ring falling off due to the weight loss. Mom told me that I should try it on another finger. She understands how I feel naked without it. Sure wish you were here to comfort me the other day when I almost lost my ring.

I am looking forward to the day we will see each other again. I love you, my Darling, and always will forever....and after.

Just finished watching this Korean drama

2010-08-12T01:42:00.018-04:00

I just recently finished watching the Korean drama, "A Man Called God" with Song Il Gook (송일국). Many people, from what I have read, did not like his new look for this drama. I have to admit, at first I was not sure, either. But after I got into the drama, his looks grew on me.

Every episode was exciting. Every episode had me thinking this time he would be killed, or at least captured. Most of the time I was actually on the edge of my seat, yelling at my computer monitor. My father had returned for a visit and was staying at my place for a few days. He was laughing at me, saying he couldn't get over how much I actually got into it while watching my dramas. He had never seen that before, I guess.

Usually when I watch a drama that I am enjoying, I can watch the episodes back to back. I have done many all-night marathons, watching dramas. But with "A Man Called God", I could only watch one episode at a time. After each was done, I needed time to let my heart get back to normal beating.

There are a few people who do not like Song Il Gook, but I have always enjoyed watching him act. But after seeing him in this last story, he is now definitely my 3rd favorite Korean actor. Of course, Yoon Sang Hyun is my very first, then Kang Ji Hwan, and Song Il Gook is the next in line.

This is how Song Il Gook looked before doing this drama.

This is how Song Il Gook looked in this last drama.

I think the reason why many people did not like his new look when we first read about this new drama is because of the first photos that were shown when letting us know about it.

I finally found a photo showing us of his new look, this is what I think 'scared' some of his fans. All those muscles. I read that he had gone on a very strict diet for this role and lost about 15 kg. I'm not good at converting weights, but I think that is about 33 lbs. Plus he spent even more time in the gym and weight training. And he had to learn new skills such as skydiving, fencing, archery, and shooting.

2010-07-22T12:16:00.006-04:00

Well, "Coffee House" has only 2 more episodes. I am not sure of the direction it is going, but if it is going the way I think it is, I am not liking it. As much as I love Kang Ji Hwan, I don't like Park Si Yeon. I didn't like her when she was in the last half of Family Outing, season 1, and I still don't like her. I'm not exactly sure why, but I guess we just don't always know or understand the reasons why. Jung Woong In is in "Coffee House", and his character is sooooo different from the character he played in "Last Scandal". I really liked him in that.

While I was at Viikii to see "Coffee House", I checked out some of the other dramas they have subbed there. Found a very nice, warm story, a drama from China, called "Rent a Girlfriend Home for New Year". Loved this one!! Liked the two main actors. Du Chun and Xue Jia Ning. Never saw them before, but I think I will try to find some of their other work.

Re-watching Old Dramas

2010-07-09T11:31:00.006-04:00

I have been watching a new drama with my second favorite Korean actor, Kang Ji Hwan. "Coffee House". But while I have to wait each week for the next 2 episodes, I have been re-watching some other dramas I enjoyed in the past.

Just finished re-watching a Thai drama, or lakorn as they are called, “Jam Leuy Ruk” which stars Atichart Chumnanont, nickname Aum. He is such a cutey!! Such mesmerizing eyes! The other one of his I re-watched is "Badaan Jai". I like his costar in “Jam Leuy Ruk", Taksaorn Paksukcharoen, nickname Aff.

Another lakorn I re-watched is “Sawan Biang”, starring Kane Theeradeth Wonpuapan, or Ken. and Anne Thongprasom. They have acted together in another lakorn I have seen “Oom Ruk”.

Sometimes it is fun to re-watch some dramas. For some reason, while I am waiting for the next episodes of "Coffee House", I can't seem to get interested in starting any new dramas. Actually, I shouldn't start watching a drama that is still airing, I get so frustrated with the waiting! But since it is Kang Ji Hwan I am waiting for, it is worth it.

Photos of Thomas

2010-05-26T19:26:00.015-04:00

I'm ashamed to say, but I don't seem to have very many photos of Thomas. Most of them are of Tiger.

Thomas: September 1994 - May 24, 2010

2010-05-25T15:13:00.006-04:00

I just lost another loyal friend yesterday. Thomas has left me. He would have been 16 years old this September.

Poor Thomas did not have an easy life. He came into our lives when he was 1 1/2 years old. The person he was with before always had him outside. He developed asthma from being out in the cold and snow and ice. After Tony and I had him neutered, he almost died from hemorrhaging. I found out later that he had been born with a blood-clotting problem, so I was always so very careful that he never got into a situation where he might get injured.

Even though I tried to be equal in the attention and affection I gave my boys, Thomas seemed to always be second. Tiger was the "boss" of the household and the leader, and Thomas would just step back and let him have his way. Tiger was more demanding. Thomas was very quiet and timid. I always wondered how such a timid cat survived being outside as young as he was back then.

The past few years, Thomas's asthma has been under control. But after Tiger died, I think Thomas became depressed. He didn't seem himself. I blame myself that because I was so depressed after losing Tiger, I wasn't as observant as I should have been.

When Thomas started having trouble with his asthma acting up Saturday, I tried to give him the inhaler he needed, but he kept fighting me. By Sunday I knew we needed to see a vet. But I could not get a ride from anyone!! My father finally found someone to help us, but she said we would have to wait until Monday morning. It is obvious to me she is not an animal lover, or she would have understood the emergency.

Anyway, she did pick us up Monday morning, but that was such a big mistake. Her car was full of cigarette smoke! The worst thing for someone having trouble breathing! As soon as we entered her car, Thomas started struggling to breathe. He died in the car on the way to the vet. I will always feel that I killed him. If I had been able to get a different person, a non-smoker, to help us, Thomas might have made it to the vet.

I know he might have still died, but at least they could have made him a little comfortable at the animal hospital and I could have held him as he took his last breath, as I did with Tiger. But Thomas was in the carrier in the car and I could not get him out.

Does anyone understand the feelings I was going thru? As the mommy to Thomas, I was helpless and had to watch him suffer, not being able to do anything. Why can't people understand, that to some of us, our cats (or dogs) are more than just pets. They are our family, our babies, our "children". Tony and I did not have children together. Tiger and Thomas were our children.

Now I have lost all three of my loves. I am sitting here, feeling so all alone and terrible because I could not do anything for my baby.

2010-05-12T16:10:00.004-04:00

May 12 is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!!

My Father

2010-05-12T14:56:00.006-04:00

My father is here visiting from out-of-state. His brother is in the hospital, so Dad flew out right away to see him. They are all they have left of their family here.
My father will be 80 years old in June. I think he looks good for 80.

(You will have to excuse the mess behind Dad. I have been going thru stuff to see what to get rid of.)

I was able to get a picture of Dad petting Thomas. I was surprised because Thomas usually does not like men and will run away. Maybe Thomas has gotten braver since Tiger is no longer with us and he has to be the one who "takes care of Mommy".

I will miss Dad when he has to go back home. Sure wish my mother could have come with him in this visit. Who knows if I'll ever see them again after this?

We had a good visit together the other day. We talked about so much! Dad also told me things about my childhood that I was not aware of and it was fun to learn these things.

I was always a "Daddy's girl" while growing up and I guess I always will be.

Descriptions of the two books I mentioned.

2010-04-22T02:51:00.003-04:00

This is the description of "Life Expectancy" by Dean Koontz, that was on the library page.

"Jimmy Tock comes into the world on the very night his grandfather leaves it. As a violent storm rages outside the hospital, Rudy Tock spends long hours walking the corridors between the expectant fathers' waiting room and his dying father's bedside. It's a strange vigil made all the stranger when, at the very height of the storm's fury, Josef Tock suddenly sits up in bed and speaks coherently for the frist and last time since his stroke.

What he says before he dies is that there will be five dark days in the life of his grandson - five dates whose terrible events Jimmy will have to prepare himself to face. The first is to occur in his twentieth year; the second in his twent-third year; the third in his twenty-eighth; the fourth in his twenty-ninth; the fifth in his thirtieth.

Rudy is all too ready to discount his father's last words as a dying man's delusional rambling. But then he discovers that Josef also predicted the time of his grandson's birth to the minute, as well as his exact height and weight, and the fact that Jimmy would be born with syndactyly - the unexplained anomal of fused digits - on his left foot. Suddenly the old man's predictions take on a chilling significance.

What terrifying events await Jimmy on these five dark days? What nightmares will he face? What challenges must he survive? As the novel unfolds, picking up Jimmy's story at each of these crisis points, the path he must follow will defy every expectation. And with each crisis he faces, he will move closer to a fate he could never have imagined. For who Jimmy Tock is and what he must accomplish on the five days when his world turns is a mystery as dangerous as it is wondrous - a struggle against an evil so dark and pervasive, only the most extraordinary of human spirits can shine through."

This is the description for "How to Murder Your Mother-In-Law" by Dorothy Cannell.

"The Thin Woman - Ellie Haskell - is back, in the most mischievous, marvelous mystery to hit the marital pike yet. Ellie's mum-in-law Magdalene has moved in permanently and poor Ellie finds herself up to her formerly fat neck in crocheted doilies and cheap statues of Catholic saints. As Magdalene runs her finger over every surface in Merlin's Court (checking, undoubtedly, for dust), Eillie discovers that she isn't the only woman in Chitterdon Fells with the ultimate mother-in-law problem - three others are experiencing the same living hell.

One tipsy evening, four imaginary plots to bump off the resident in-laws are hatched and those plots start coming lethally true in real life. Ellie once again plunges into a desperate chase to outwit a killer."

2010-04-17T07:29:00.007-04:00

I love to read but since I have no way of getting to the library anymore, I have started downloading audio books from my library. Mostly I stick with books from the mystery and suspense area, as that has always been my favorite genre. Ever since I first read Agatha Christie when I was a very young girl, I have loved mysteries.

I recently listened to "Life Expectancy" written by Dean Koontz. First time ever I found myself laughing so hard aloud while listening to an audio book. This was such a funny story, I didn't realize Dean Koontz could write comedy.

After that, I downloaded another mystery novel and was very surprised at how funny that one was. Again, I found myself laughing aloud while listening. It was "How to Murder Your Mother-In-Law" written by Dorothy Cannell. I had never read anything by her before, but will now see what else she has written.

Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge

2010-03-30T06:36:00.013-04:00

The other day I finished watching a Japanese drama and can not get the music out of my head. It was a live drama made from an anime which was from a manga. The manga is "Perfect Girl Evolution" and the live drama is "Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge". The drama has Kamenashi Kazuya from the j-pop group KAT-TUN which is from Johny's Entertainment. It also has Tegoshi Yuya from NEWS and Uchi Hiroki from Kanjani8. I love the opening song.

2010-03-08T12:55:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was 2 years my brother has been gone. And today is my mother's birthday. she already told me she hates her birthdays now because all they do is remind her that her son isn't here any longer. I sometimes wonder if she would be feeling this sad if it had been me instead. Oh, I know my mother loves me, but....... he was always her favorite. They had a very strong bond. I do understand why, because as a baby Joey was always sick and almost died. Once my mother told me that she never had to worry about me because she knew I could take care of myself. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous of my brother. As a matter of fact, when we were younger, we were very close. But a girl does need her mother, also.

I wish my parents could get online, it would make things so much easier to keep in touch. Phone calls do get expensive. They have a laptop, but have no idea how to use it or get online. No one is there to teach them. Wish there weren't so many miles between us. But there is no way I could move closer, not in my condition or fixed income. So we just have to be content with the few phone calls.

Joey, I miss you. Wish we could have talked a bit before you left us. I love you.

Mom, happy birthday. I love you.

Depression

2010-02-19T07:41:00.006-05:00

Haven't felt like writing anything in awhile. In January, I could feel the start of something building inside. Tried to fight it. But the first week of February it got so big, I fell under the weight. Depression. February 11 was the anniversary of my dear husband's death. Every year it hits me, why do I try to fight it off? That only makes it worse. But not only am I missing Tony, I am also missing Tiger. Believe it or not, Tiger was my comfort after Tony died.

Tony was not only my husband, he was my best friend. With him around, I felt strong, I could do anything. After he was gone, Tiger kept me going. I had to be strong because he needed me as his health started failing.

Even the things I love aren't helping me this time. I love to watch Korean and Japanese dramas. Normally they get me thru the tough times. This time it seems harder to get thru a day. Hopefully, it will pass soon.

Another beautiful tribute

2009-12-31T10:58:00.003-05:00

Another beautiful tribute to a beautiful man we love. Made by my friend, eidasayang.

Snow

2009-12-21T09:26:00.006-05:00

We had snow over the weekend. (about 17", I think) I can't open my back door, but looking out through the screen, this is the snow on top of my trash barrel.

I tried to open the back door a bit to show the snow blocking the door. Can't push the door any further. Thomas came to see what I was doing, but he would not come too close to the door. Guess he can still remember his first year out in the blizzard we had, before he moved in with us.

A Wonderful Group of Friends

2009-12-16T05:22:00.008-05:00

As I have said in another post, I am blessed. My life is good. It may not be good in ways some people think it should be, but it is in the ways I count.

For most of my life I have felt out of place, different from others. An example was the day I graduated from high school, I was invited to a get-together at the house of my brother’s girlfriend (her brother graduated with me). My brother said to just dress casual, wear jeans. You would think that my own brother would have noticed that I never wore jeans, I never owned any. I always wore skirts to school. (This was in the early 70’s). My brother let me borrow a pair of his jeans, but kept on and on about how he could not believe how different I was, was I really his sister, and making me feel worse than bad.

My life and interests have always been different from the people surrounding me. They never could understand. But. I have met a wonderful group of women who accept me and have the same interest. We all love Yoon Sang Hyun! I feel as if I belong somewhere. I’m not different. So I am grateful to these wonderful new friends who have accepted me as I am and include me in their group.

Happy belated birthday, Tony

2009-12-05T21:32:00.004-05:00

Yesterday would have been Tony's 67th birthday if he was still here with me. I didn't post this on Friday because I slept on and off most of the day. I find I usually end up doing that on certain days, like his birthday, our anniversary, the date he died.

Happy Birthday, My Love.

A Beautiful Tribute

2009-12-01T18:54:00.007-05:00

A beautiful tribute to a beautiful man.
The person who made it is eidasayang.

2009-12-01T00:49:00.009-05:00

When I see these two actors crying as the characters they play, I always get very sad and teary-eyed, also. Not too many actors can affect me the way these two actors can.

Yoon Sang Hyun as TaeBong in "Queen of Housewives", red, teary eyes.

Yoon Sang Hyun as Butler Seo Dong Chan in "Take Care of the Young Lady".

Kang Ji Hwan (강지환) as Hong Gil Dong. Silently crying.

2009-11-26T01:37:00.015-05:00

These are the different looks of Yoon Sang Hyun (윤상현)

"Marrying a Millionaire" (2005)

"Exhibition of Fireworks" (2006)

"Three Dads and One Mom" (2008)

"Queen of Housewives" (2009)

"Take Care of the Young Lady" (2009)

My favorite look is as Butler Seo in "Take Care of the Young Lady", but he looks good no matter how he is dressed or what he is doing. :)

I also prefer when he has that little bit of moustache. He's so cute!

My favorite actor, Yoon Sang Hyun, singing

2009-11-25T19:50:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned in my post on November 7, I love the actor Yoon Sang Hyun. He is just too adorable! Here is a video with the song he sang in his last drama "Take Care of the Young Lady"(or sometimes known as "My Fair Lady" or "Lady Castle"). I love this song and especially his voice!

Jae Hee talking of his feelings

2009-11-17T19:24:00.005-05:00

This bit of video I sort of "edited" it to only show what Jae Hee has to say about his love. The girl he is with is his professor's daughter. He did not want to date her, but she talked him into going on 10 dates. She thought she could win his heart by then. Jae Hee invited her out to dinner so he could tell her he wasn't going to see her anymore.

I like the faraway look on his face when he is talking, and his tone of voice.

Another scene from 'Be Strong, Geum Soon'

2009-11-14T18:16:00.002-05:00

There is another scene that I find funny. Geum Soon and Jae Hee don't know each other very well yet, but run into each other at the hospital a few times. She noticed that when his subordinates enter the elevator and greet him, he does nothing. This is what she does. Check his reaction after she leaves the elevator.

Funny scene from 'Be Strong, Geum Soon'

2009-11-11T22:59:00.008-05:00

This is a funny scene from "Be Strong, Geum Soon". Kang Ji Hwan plays an arrogant doctor, Jae Hee. Han Hye Jin plays the young widow, Geum Soon. She is the one who spills the hot tea on Jae Hee's lap.

I laugh so hard whenever I see the funny faces he makes during this scene.

Keeping Away the Blues

2009-11-07T20:06:00.009-05:00

Just as I did after Tony died, I found myself going back more often to watch the Asian dramas I love after I lost Tiger. It is what keeps me from falling into a depression. Thomas is still with me, but he keeps to himself mostly. He comes to me when he is hungry, that's about it. So I am alone with no one to talk to. Tiger always listened to me and would let me ramble on. Not Thomas.

For some reason, I have been watching a lot more Korean dramas lately. Maybe it is because of certain actors? I have found two actors that I am very much interested in and have been trying to see all their work.

The first one I found was Kang Ji Hwan. I first saw him when I watched “Hong Gil Dong“. Something about his face and voice caught my attention. I have watched some of his other works, like “Capital Scandal”, “Exhibition of Fireworks” and “My Girlfriend is an Agent“. And even though “Hong Gil Dong” is still my favorite, my second favorite has to be “Be Strong, Geum Soon”.

Then another actor caught my eye. Yoon Sang Hyun. He is absolutely adorable!! He was in “Exhibition of Fireworks”, had a small role in "One Mom and Three Dads", I adored him in "Queen of Housewives" but totally fell in love with him in "Take Care of the Young Lady". He was wonderful as Butler Seo. I can't imagine anyone else in that role.

Can't wait to see what Yoon Sang Hyun will be doing next. Oh, did I mention he also sings? What a wonderful voice! You can hear him if you visit my youtube page. The first video is his song from "Take Care of the Young Lady". His voice is so sweet and soothing. I could listen to him all day.

Tiger ~ 3-23-91 to 9-30-09

2009-10-23T04:20:00.004-04:00

Had to say goodbye to Tiger. I miss him so much, he was such a big part of my life for 18 years.

I still expect to see him in his usual spots, and when I look and he isn't there, it hurts all over again.

Just stopping in to say hello

2009-04-26T10:54:00.002-04:00

I have been neglecting my blog! I think I am spending way too much time over at http://geeks.pirillo.com/. There is so much to do over there! I read the discussions, the blogs of other people, watch their videos, say happy birthday to those having a birthday, you get the picture. That keeps me busy. Plus I did start a blog over there.

I am still watching the subtitled dramas I love so much. Mostly at AZNV.TV. I keep a list of what I have watched at livejournal.

2009-02-14T13:39:00.001-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!!

Silly Tests

2009-01-08T10:12:00.003-05:00

I love taking those silly tests.

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct.

It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

2008-12-15T18:24:00.008-05:00

Check out Geeks Radio!!!!

2008-12-06T05:21:00.001-05:00

Tiger and Thomas, sleeping

2008-12-04T02:59:00.004-05:00

Today is my dearest husband's birthday. He would have been 66 years old today!

Tiger Thinking He is Getting Away With Something

2008-12-02T05:29:00.005-05:00

Tiger knows he is not allowed on the table. Then, why, since my husband died, has Tiger been jumping up there when I am not in the kitchen? This is what I found when I came out of the bathroom. I think he was looking at his brother, Thomas, on the floor.

Anyway, he knows that since his Daddy is gone, Mommy doesn't like to scold him. Tiger is almost 18 years old, and I think it is because of his age I am a bit more lenient with him than I should be. I don't eat at the table, anyway. Maybe Tiger figured that out, since no food goes on the table, why should Mommy get upset?

2008-11-19T12:08:00.003-05:00

I love to play online games. That is partly what keeps me sane. Why does there always have to be one person in the whole bunch of people playing to ruin it for others? The game I am really into lately is Perfect World. I usually quest alone in these games and mind my own business, I don't bother others. So why does someone feel they have the right to disturb my questing and start saying rude things to me, calling me names, and getting in my way when I try to move? And he wasn't "whispering" these things to me. He was saying them so others around us could hear him. And that got them started saying stuff. Normally I just log off when this happens, but I needed to finish my quest. So I tried walking off to another area. He followed me. I walked away, he followed me again. I did end up logging off, but I was soooooo frustrated! And I made a note of his name in case I ever see it again, so I will know to keep away. I truly hate having to report people and getting anyone into trouble and I try to handle it myself. But his type of behaviour really annoys me and ruins my play fun.

Well, I just needed to get that off my chest.

2008-10-29T16:40:00.007-04:00

Check out Kaneva!!! Fun!Fun!Fun!

You can find me at my page

2008-10-16T10:49:00.005-04:00

Haven't been on for awhile. Been playing Pogo. They are doing a "Club Pogo Free Play" from October 7 to 20. I am able to play my favorite game, Mahjong Garden. When I became a widow, I had to give up a lot of things I enjoyed. One of them was a paid membership at Pogo. When I went back to "free play", I lost being able to play a lot of the games I really enjoyed. So I am taking advantage of this time to play my favorite game. I'll be back after the 20th.

2008-09-27T15:30:00.004-04:00

I enjoy reading mangas. I have the whole set of "Lone Wolf and Cub". After reading this series, I had to watch the movies. Loved it!!

Started to keep a list of the mangas I have read, but this list is by no means complete. My manga list. But I can't afford to buy mangas, so I now read them online. Found a good web site for that. OneManga. Don't have to download anything to read these. Other sites that have manga that can be read online is MangaHut and MangaVolume.

Happy Anniversary, My Love!

2008-08-28T01:35:00.009-04:00

Today would have been our 16th anniversary if my love was still here with me.

FANCYPROFILE.COM

My Meez

2008-08-22T18:19:00.005-04:00

Found this new site (new to me). I love checking out new web sites and I love making avatars.

Anyway, this is me on Meez. If you are ever there, look me up.

A Quote I Found

2008-08-15T05:14:00.004-04:00

"Instead of saying, "Why is this happening to me? Isn't this awful. Poor me", begin to say, "What do I have to learn from this?"
by Dr. Wayne W.Dyer

This quote reminds me of how my husband lived his life. He never felt sorry for himself, no matter what happened. He just tried to figure out how to continue living in spite of the hardships, how to get around them.

Disappointed Endings

2008-08-06T14:16:00.003-04:00

Well, I am so frustrated again. This time the drama had all the episodes so it had an ending. But what a disappointing ending. Not what I wanted. I watched "Love Exchange". I enjoyed the actors, the storyline, the whole story. Until the last episode. It did not end the way I expected, or the way these things usually end. And judging from a couple of comments from other watchers, they felt the same.

Anita Yuen is a good actress and I was not disappointed in her at all. I have only seen her in a couple of movies, but like her work. And I don't know if she intentionally was funny or if it just happened, but what ever she intended, I loved her character in "Love Exchange". Michael Mui is a new actor for me, but I will definitely be looking for more of his work. Liked what he did with his character. According to his page on DramaWiki he has been in quite a few movies and TV shows. Why haven't I seen him before? Probably because I have been watching more Japanese and Korean dramas and movies than any others.

Anyway, back to the ending. I guess the writers did leave it open for anything to happen. Maybe they will meet again in a couple of years and find their feelings for each other are true. And after thinking about it, maybe it was for the best they left it like this. At least both characters realized their feelings for each other may be due to their circumstances and they need to find out by putting distance between themselves. If their feelings are true, then the distance and time will not be a hindrance.

I love a good romance and a happy ending. But as a character in "Get Karl! Oh Soo Jung" said, we need more happy beginnings, not endings. Can't remember the exact wording, but it was something like that. Usually fairy tales end with a happy ending. But who knows what happens afterward to them? Does getting married mean the end of a person's life and happiness? I don't believe so. Mine didn't. Getting married to my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me and we were very happy together.

Unfinished Dramas

2008-08-02T01:05:00.003-04:00

I get so frustrated when I start watching a drama and really get into it, to find out it isn't finished being subbed. So I have to wait for episodes to be uploaded. Sometimes it takes weeks for the next episode to be uploaded. Maybe months! I was watching the Korean drama "Sweet Buns" and got up to episode 14 when I realized the next, is it 12 episodes, are nowhere to be found. Argh!!!!!! I need to find out what happens! It's not like it is a new drama. It was aired in 2004. And I realize subbing these dramas is not an easy task. I am just going to have to be more careful about what drama I start. Have to make sure all the episodes are subbed before getting interested in it.

Tiger

2008-07-29T09:37:00.002-04:00

Tiger never ceases to amaze me. He has found a new way to wake me when he thinks it is time for Mommy to get up. He grabs, with his teeth, some of my hair close to the scalp and pulls. When he first started doing this he would just grab some hair and pull. He found that it hurts me more when he grabs closer to the scalp. How can one small cat be so smart?

2008-07-21T01:58:00.002-04:00

It bothers me when I can't remember something. There was an actor I knew I had seen somewhere but could not remember which drama it was. I had mentioned it in my post titled Laughter. Well, I finally figured out where I had seen Byun Hee Bong before. It was in "Witch Amusement". So now I feel better. But why didn't I see that when I checked his page on DramaWiki?

2008-07-07T13:56:00.003-04:00

I am very puzzled by something. The choice young girls make in the guys they fall in love with. I have watched several dramas now where the girl falls for the young immature guy instead of the mature, thoughtful man. In "Attic Cat", the girl falls for a young law student who always uses her and hurts her. Her boss cares for her and is mature and thoughtful and does not hurt her feelings. And he is trying to guide her in her career. Even after the law student realizes he loves the girl and tells her, he still hurts her and uses her and denies his feelings when asked by others. What is that about? Why would a guy do that?

I’ve just finished episode 12 of "Full House", which has 16 episodes. There is a nice man who cares about the main girl, but she loves the guy who is always hurting her and calling her names. Plus, he loves another girl and always runs to her side when she calls. Why would a girl allow anyone to treat her that way? And don’t even get me started on the type of person that second girl is! She doesn’t love that guy and didn’t want him until he was with the main girl. Then all of a sudden, she wants him. And knowing how he feels about her, she takes advantage of that. Every time she feels him pulling away toward the other girl, she uses their history together, plus tears to drag him back to her side. That is being very selfish, as far as I'm concerned.

As long as I live, I don’t think I will understand. I have always believed in being honest about my feelings and I don’t believe in playing mind games.

Getting a Good Laugh That is Very Much Needed

2008-06-30T07:33:00.003-04:00

Right now I am on episode 12 of a funny Korean drama called “Sweet Spy”. I have had more fun watching this and laughing out loud. Can’t help it, it is so funny. For example, three men are accidentally given a job that wasn’t meant for them and they try to follow the instructions. They have no idea why and what they are doing, or why they are getting beat up over it by strange groups of men. Plus why is someone thinking the old man is an international spy when he is actually a small-time thief? Everyone is getting the wrong messages and ideas. The sweet, naïve, young widow gets involved, having to pretend the real spy is her lover. Dennis Oh plays the real spy. I’m not very impressed with his acting, to be truthful. But he sure is fine looking with a nice voice. As I was watching him I kept getting the feeling that I had seen him somewhere. Then when I checked on his page on DramaWiki, I realized I had seen him in “Witch Yoo Hee” (“Witch Amusement”).

Anyway, I am watching this at aznV.TV where I find a lot of good subtitled movies and dramas.

2008-06-23T08:39:00.002-04:00

Well, I have finished a couple more dramas and even movies, and got a few laughs, but that's all. Nothing that would make my heart skip a beat again. Some were even sort of boring. Oh, well. They can't all be winners, I guess.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T15:25:00.003-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there!

To my friend Eric, I hope you have a wonderful day. I haven't told you, but I love reading your emails. I enjoy hearing about the things you do, whether it is work-related or otherwise. It just hit me the other day how long we have known each other. I was still in high school, now I am a grandmother. Over 30 years! Even though we had lost each other for a long time, I am happy we are back in touch. And I'm glad you have a wonderful woman in your life. Take care of her and yourself.

Laughter

2008-06-15T08:47:00.007-04:00

Lately I have watched so many sad or unhappy or dangerous dramas that it was getting me into a depressed mood. But the other day I finished a Korean drama that made me smile and laugh. It was "The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince". I love Gong Yoo, and after seeing some of the other work he has done I should not have been surprised that it was good. Plus he has one of the sexiest smiles I have seen in a long time. The actress that played opposite to him was new to me and I thought she was good. Her name is Yoon Eun Hye. I will definitely be checking out what else she can do. I also discovered another actor I had never seen before, Lee Sun Gyun . I will also be checking out his other work. Loved his voice and smile. This drama really made me laugh out loud. It made me happy.

I am on episode 6 of another good drama. It is also making me laugh, It is "One Percent of Anything". The only actor that looks familiar to me is the grandfather, played by Byun Hee Bong. I'm not positive yet where I have seen him, but eventually I'll figure it out.

It feels good to laugh. I realized I don't do enough of that anymore. My husband used to make me laugh every day. I miss that.

2008-06-13T02:50:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I was out of the house for a few hours because my granddaughter graduated from elementary school. My boys are so used to me being home with them and Tiger gets angry at me when I leave them for any amount of time. He doesn't like it even when it is just to take the trash barrel out to the sidewalk for trash pickup. But yesterday when I returned home I got a very warm welcome from Tiger. Unusual, but nice. He would not stop purring in my ear. And he was not asking for food. Very, very unusual! It made me feel loved and wanted. Thank you, Tiger. Mommy loves you.

2008-06-03T00:36:00.004-04:00

Wow! I just said in my last post that my life is so boring, yet my heart is beating so fast right now. Why? I just finished the last episode of the Thai drama I was watching, "Leh Ratee". I haven't had this strong a reaction to a drama in a long time. My husband used to laugh at the way I would get so involved in the movie or show I was watching. But that hasn't happened this powerful in such a long time. I was actually yelling at the computer screen, at the people. Tiger and Thomas must think their mommy has gone crazy. But I am not sure why I had such a strong reaction to this particular drama. I have never seen these actors before. I wasn't even really impressed with it all at first. I have seen better dramas than this one. Why did this one affect me this way? Still can't figure it out.

2008-06-02T16:31:00.004-04:00

Someone asked me the other day why I like my subtitled dramas so much. I have been sitting here for quite a while trying to figure that out. I was going to reply to his email, but I’m still sitting here waiting for an answer to pop into my head. Maybe there isn’t enough drama in my life, so I look for it elsewhere? There used to be a LOT of drama in my life. My life was actually boring until I met the person who would become my husband. The first three years we dated there was someone who was trying to ruin our relationship. She used the word “love” but he finally understood that she did not love him but was using him. Those three years were like an emotional roller coaster for me. I wasn’t used to that. But I have never believed in playing “mind games”, so he always knew what my feelings were. I do not believe in lying. That is one thing that does bother me about these dramas. People lie about their feelings of love, but it is mostly because of their pride.

After we married, our lives settled into a more quiet routine, thank goodness. We had our busy times, of course, who doesn’t? I had a job to go to every night and there are always problems when we work with other people. But with Husband to come home to, those problems seemed so trivial. We had each other, our cat, Tiger, and we had our church family. That seemed enough. We never were the kind of people who liked to always be on the go. According to some, we lived a very boring life. But that was our choice.

My life did get busy after marriage. We never had children of our own, I felt 40 was too old for such a drastic change. But Husband already had five children. He did not feel the need for more and I am glad for that. Tiger was enough baby for us. Then when my mother-in-law got sick, we moved her in with us. I did not mind that extra work. She was a wonderful woman. She was the one who made her son the person I fell in love with. It was busy, though, with taking care of her and still going to my job at night. But no drama. After she died, Husband’s health started getting worse. He mentioned a couple of times before we married that he was afraid that I would leave him when his health started going bad. I promised him that would never happen. And I never did abandon him. I took care of him the best I could. Now, it is three years after he left me and my life has gone from being busy to being very dull. I don’t mind the dull part, I do mind not having him here with me.

So, anyway, to get back to my original reason for this post. Why do I love my subtitled dramas so much? Maybe there is a bit of need for some excitement? Without me having to actually be involved, though. I’m still thinking on it. One word does keep coming to mind. Addiction. It is like an addiction for me. But at least it is not an addiction that can hurt me physically, like some addictions. What do you think?

Tiger Had a Visitor

2008-05-29T16:45:00.003-04:00

The other day Tiger had a visit from the outside cat who was visiting and talking with Thomas the other day. (see Thomas, My Quiet Boy). I was sitting at the kitchen table, reading, while Tiger was sitting in his favorite place (see Pics of Tiger). In nice weather the top portion of the glass on the storm door is lowered to let air in and Tiger does not like when I try to close the glass in the winter. He loves it when I hold him up to the door so he can sniff the air, cold or warm, raining or sunny, doesn‘t matter to him. Anyway, I heard Tiger making strange chirping sounds. Sounds I had never heard come from him before. I turned my head to see what was going on and Tiger’s left paw was going up and down on the glass of the storm door. Of course, Mommy being the over-protective person she is toward her babies, just had to check it out. That pretty little cat was out there talking with Tiger. What surprised me is that Tiger was having a conversation with her/him. Tiger has never liked when other cats would come into his yard. Thomas was the only cat he ever allowed in. But Tiger was not arguing with the outside cat, it seemed to be a pleasant conversation. Sure wish I knew cat language so I could know what they were discussing.

2008-05-24T19:09:00.003-04:00

In my last post I talked about a pet peeve I have, about people letting their cats out. I wasn't meaning those who let their cats out supervised. I am talking about those who just open the door and let the cat out and then close the door, not caring what happens next. When my mother was healthier she loved working in her flower garden. She had a male cat (neutered, of course) who would go out to the fenced-in back yard and stay close to my mother as she tended to her garden. He never wandered too far from her side. He was always within eye-sight and my mother and her cat would enjoy the beautiful weather together. He never tried to go outside the fence.

I see too many cats go thru my yard without any collars and tags. Most of them do not look like strays. Last year a cat got hit by a car in front of my house. It is a good thing for that driver that I did not see it because I would have definitely reported a hit and run. But the cat had no collar, no tags to show where he lived. He crawled off and I was hoping he was able to get home and get care, but a few months later I found him dead under my porch. I still get upset when I think of him dying all alone like that. How long did he suffer? What about the family he had been living with? Do they miss him? Do they ever wonder what happened to him? The few times Tiger escaped and was out, I panicked. I walked the neighborhood calling his name. He would eventually come back, but I was a wreck, crying and worrying.

Maybe years ago it was okay to let cats out to roam, but the world is not a safe place anymore. There are more dangers, more cars. There are too many cruel people who see nothing wrong with hurting an animal. I would rather have people laugh at me for worrying so much, than to have my babies hurt. Yes, I may be an over-protective mother, but isn't that part of what mothering is? Protecting those who can't take care of themselves.

Thomas, My Quiet Boy

2008-05-23T02:11:00.005-04:00

Right now I am sitting here listening to Thomas snore. He is laying across the top of my chair, near my head. I have never heard a cat snore before, especially so loudly. He doesn't do it continuously, thank goodness, just occasionally. Poor thing. Sometimes it sounds as if his nose is all stuffed up, same as mine gets when my allergies bother me. I feel so bad for my poor Thomas. I sometimes think he feels neglected because I spend so much time worrying over Tiger. And I usually give in to whatever Tiger wants. I do have to remind myself to spend more time with Thomas. But Thomas is so quiet and usually sits back and does not ask for anything.

The other day Thomas was sitting in the bedroom window, talking. I can't have the window open too much because the boys are able to push the screen out and jump out the window, which they have done twice. So I can only open the window a small bit. Anyway, I went to see who Thomas was talking to. There was a small, pretty cat out there. Light gray and white. She was sitting there looking up at the window and when I looked out, she just stared at me. So I told Thomas to continue his conversation with his friend and I left them alone.

I wish people would learn not to just let their cats out, especially with no collar and ID on. That is very irresponsible, as far as I am concerned. People say they love their cats but do not take care of their safety. Doesn't anyone understand the dangers out there? I won't get started on that because that is one of my biggest pet peeves. Irresponsible pet owners. In my opinion, that is the same as letting your toddler go out to play alone, no supervision. I have always believed in being a good pet-parent. Just wish more people loved their pets as much as they say they do.

Well, I'll get off my "soapbox" now and try to get some sleep. Good night.

A Nice Day

2008-05-22T17:59:00.003-04:00

It is a nice day today. We can hear the kids playing with the basketball hoop out there. Tiger likes to have the doors open on days like this, especially when he hears the kids because he likes to watch them. Well, I opened the back door and put the chair there for him, but he sat there for about 5 minutes. Then he was back to my chair at the table. I have a cushion on my chair for my comfort, but the boys seem to think I put it there for their use. I hardly ever get to sit in my own chair.

Tiger is starting to eat better, thank goodness. The doctor had suggested I give him a 1/4 of a Pepcid AC tablet every morning. So he gets his thyroid pills plus the Pepcid AC. He still isn't gaining any weight, though. I thought with all the food he has been eating he would put on a few pounds. He is way too thin. He never was much of a water drinker, unless it was dripping from the faucet. But I had bought 2 of the pet water fountains for the boys and Tiger is drinking more water, finally. He even lets me know when he wants me to change it, which I usually do once a day. Sometimes he asks me to change it twice a day. How can I refuse?

When Tiger wants something, he lets me know. The other day he kept after me and I just could not understand what he wanted. I finally told him to show me. He led me to their litter boxes. Well, I had cleaned them but someone had used one and left 1 little pile of you-know-what. Tiger wanted me to remove that little pile. There are 2 litter boxes. He could not have used the other one? Do you suppose he is spoiled?

2008-05-16T23:46:00.008-04:00

This is Tiger in his favorite napping spot. Under the blanket between my legs. I know you can't see him, but believe me, he is under the blanket. See the lump?

2008-05-15T03:47:00.001-04:00

Well, I have finally figured out why Tiger feels the need to wake me every two hours. It is to pay me back for disturbing his naps. His favorite spot to nap is under the blanket between my legs. But on the days my bladder is acting up, I have to get up quite often and that means waking Tiger from his nap. There is no way to get out of my chair without bothering Tiger. My bladder does not act up that way every day, just once in a while. I guess that has to do with the Fibromyalgia. Oh, I have always had an overactive bladder, and over the years it has gotten worse, but not every day. And I never know when it will act up. It has nothing to do with the amount of fluids I take in, either.

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T14:24:00.012-04:00

Happy Mother's Day!!

The weather is nice out today, I'm glad.

Birthday

2008-05-06T16:24:00.003-04:00

Well, it is my birthday today. I don't feel any older. I don't feel any different.
I was born in the A.M. but I am definitely not a morning person.

Graphics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

More Pics of Tiger

2008-04-24T20:12:00.015-04:00

I love the colors in Tiger's hair.

Tiger does not like my attention to be on anything else but him, lately. He has not been feeling well.

Sitting on my magazine.

Normally I do not allow the boys on the table, even though I never eat at that table. But I guess I was feeling kind of guilty yesterday. I had been putting off his check up because of financial reasons. He should have seen his doctor several months ago. He is not doing too well. I understand at 17 years old he won't be at his healthiest, but I think I just did not want to face the fact that I may lose him.

Tiger is a very intelligent boy. People laugh when I say this, but he can tell time. Tiger has a way of waking me, by nipping at my arm very lightly. The more I ignore him, the harder the nips get. I have even tried covering my arm with the blanket and Tiger will move the blanket away to get at my arm. I sometimes purposely ignore him to see what he will do. When Tiger tries to wake me earlier than I want to get up, I will tell him to give me more time, for example, I will tell him to give me another hour sleep. He will come back in an hour and try again to wake me. There are times I will tell him to wake me at a certain time. The other day he was trying to get me up at 5:00 in the morning, which is WAY too early for me. I told him to come back at 8:00 and I would get up. I say "when the clock shows eight o'clock, 8-0-0, then I will get up". Tiger will come back then. Sometimes it is 1 or 2 minutes before or after that time, but close enough. How does Tiger know the numbers? I have no idea, but my husband taught him.

Pics of Tiger

2008-04-23T15:31:00.013-04:00

I was busy taking pictures of Tiger today. Here he is sitting in his favorite spot in front of the back door.

A close-up!

Decided to jump down off the chair.

Hungry!

Done eating.

Tiger's Brother, Thomas

2008-04-09T13:11:00.014-04:00

This is my other baby boy, Thomas. He will be 14 years old in September. I just don't know what day, so we had decided a long time ago to celebrate on the 23rd of that month.

Thomas is sleeping on my chair. He had been sleeping in my lap, but when I tried to get up, he just sort of slid into this position and stayed. Usually when I get up, he gets up. Thomas must have been tired this day. So I thought that would be a good opportunity to take his picture.

This next photo is a close up of his face.

Thomas is and has always been a one person cat. He is definitely Mommy's boy. He doesn't really like men, for some reason. It has to do with his life before he moved in with us. My husband always was very good to our boys and very gentle, but Thomas never did get close to him. Whenever my husband was in the shower, Thomas would lay right outside, waiting for him to come out. He always stayed at a distance, but would stay in the bathroom the whole time, even after my husband got out of the shower and was drying off. And after my husband died, Thomas would sleep in his chair.

The other day, after the boys ate their lunch, Thomas came to sit with me. I noticed he still had some food on his chin. So I told him to wash his face. He did! I only had to say it once. He is a very obedient boy. He is not as stubborn as his brother, either.

My Passions

2008-03-30T00:13:00.017-04:00

There are some things about me that no one knows about. My husband knew and understood. He knew me better than anyone and understood me better than I even understood myself. He understood about my passions. Or would obsessions be a better word? Take books, for example. From the first time I learned to read, I have loved it. I loved books. And when I found an author that I truly enjoyed, I had to read everything by that person. Preferably in the order the books were written. I loved seeing how the author “grew” in their work from book to book.

I discovered Agatha Christie when I was just a young girl. Over the years I have collected all her books. And have read each one maybe 3 or 4 times each. Then in the early 80’s I discovered an author by the name of Charlotte Vale Allen. If you have not read any of her work, I highly recommend you do. She has written about 40 books, which I own about 30. My husband knew how much I loved her work so when he found out she was going to have a book signing nearby, he took me to meet her. We enjoyed talking with her after it was all done. We three sat for quite awhile, chatting. She and I have exchanged emails and spoken on the phone a few times. My husband loved to tell people that I knew a real author.

I discovered Terry Brooks a few years ago. I haven’t gotten into all his books, only the Shannara series. I have read them all and when I was able to find any on sale or at a very low price, I bought them. So now I have them and can re-read them whenever I want. Which I have read them all twice, so far.

Diane Mott Davidson is another author I enjoy reading. I love mysteries. And her books are mysteries about a caterer. So there is a lot about cooking and food in the stories, plus recipes. She has written, I think, about 14 books, which I have read 12. There is a lot of humor in her stories, also, which I found refreshing.

I know another author now and my husband would have loved to have been able to brag about that. If you get a chance, read her book. My friend, Suzanne. I have read her book and it is a truly enjoyable one. She has been my inspiration.

Tiger, Happy Birthday

2008-03-23T03:07:00.011-04:00

Today is Tiger's birthday. He is now 17 years old.

Happy Birthday, my Sweet Boy!!

My Brother

2008-03-11T17:33:00.012-04:00

I'm sitting here thinking of my brother. He died Friday and he was only 52 years old. Cancer. My father told me he blames himself because he has the cancer gene. My father is a cancer survivor. He had colon cancer back in 1971. I told my father not to blame himself, he was not responsible for my brother getting colon cancer. Just because we have certain genes in us does not mean we purposely pass them on to our children. No one ever plans to pass it along.

My brother was born 1 year and 4 months after me. My mother told me there was never any jealousy. I loved my baby brother. This is a photo of us. Joey was 7 months, I was 23 months. At least, that is what is written on the back of the photo. Oh, weren't we just the cutest babies!

After going thru my photo albums I realized there are not very many pictures of my brother. My mother has them all. This is a school picture, taken in 1964. That would make Joey about 7 or 8 years old. I love to look at the old photos, at how neat everyone dressed back then. See his hair? How nicely it is combed?

Joey was a good son to my mother. He was a good brother to me. There is a story my mother used to tell, about Joey and me going to school together. We used to hold hands. When we got to the hallway where we would separate and go to our own classrooms, we would give each other a kiss on the cheek. Well, that stopped the day a teacher made a remark to our mother about it. Joey got embarrassed because up until then he did not realize anyone saw us.

This next photo was taken, I think, around 1972. We were living in Japan at that time, at Grant Heights. This was while Joey was in his bedroom playing his guitar.

I remember once he gave me a ring with my birthstone. He bought it for me because he thought I would like it. Which, of course, I did. I still have that ring.

My mother was telling me about when we were in high school. Joey's friend would stop by to walk to school with him. Joey would leave the house, then run back as if he forgot something. It was to give Mom a hug and kiss. He did not want his friend to see it, but he would not disappoint Mom by not saying good-bye to her.

I left home in 1973, then when my parents and brothers left Japan in 1974, Joey went his own way. He and his girlfriend, Carol, married. They met while we were in Japan.

It was hard to believe my brother was a husband, then a father. After watching him grow up, he was still my little brother. He became a father in 1975. Here he is with his first born. He looks so serious. I never did ask him what went thru his mind at that time. We did not talk much since there were so many miles separating us. And we each had our own lives. We always think we have plenty of time. It is always "I will get in touch later". "After this....." or "after that...."

We need to let our loved ones know how we feel while they are still alive. My husband and I always did with each other. But I think we forget to do it with family that we do not see. When family members are so many miles apart, we don't think of it. Or we think we have all the time in the world. We have to learn not to take family for granted. We are always nice to our friends and co-workers and other people. Why are we not nicer to our family members? It is something we all have to work on, I believe.

My husband and I knew we would not have a lot of years together, so we knew we had to enjoy what time we did have. Why don't we ever think that way with everyone? Enjoy the time we do have with friends and family. Let them know we appreciate them. I wish I had been able to tell my brother how much I loved him. Did he know? How could he if I didn't say it. Brothers and sisters don't usually say it to each other, do they. But why not? When we are growing up, our siblings are the closest to us. We live in the same house, we eat at the same table, we sleep under the same roof. We usually see each other every day, until we move away.

This is a lesson we all need to learn. Let people know how we feel while they are still with us. After they are gone, it is too late. There are no "do-overs".

My Boys, My Sons

2008-02-29T17:31:00.022-05:00

My boys. What can I say about them? I love them dearly, but they can be pains. Mainly because they are spoiled. This is them on my chair. Notice I have my chair covered with a sheet. They use my chair more than they let me use it. This photo shows how they usually sleep, separate, not touching.

This next photo I caught them by surprise. This was, I think, the first time I ever saw them laying so close to each other on my chair. They looked surprised that I saw them.

This next photo is another with them actually touching even closer and sleeping together.

Tiger was our first boy. My husband got him for me when he was only 2 months old. He will be 17 years old this March. Tiger was very close to my husband and they had a very strong bond. My husband could usually understand what Tiger wanted even though I could not always figure it out.

Thomas was the only cat that Tiger allowed in our back yard. We had heard him crying one night during a bad snow storm. I could not see anything, so I had to wait until daylight. That's when I saw Thomas outside. He was always trying to come into our house, so we let him. The boys got along very well. Never fought. We all grew very attached to Thomas. Long story short, he ended up winning and moving in with us.

When we first met Thomas I found out he was about 1 year and 4 months old. Was not neutered. Did not know how to use a litter box. Did not know how to play with toys. I sat down with Tiger one day and explained that if he wanted Thomas to live with us, he would have to help me teach Thomas how to live indoors. Due to his having asthma, which we found when we had him neutered, he could not go outside anymore. Especially in the winter. What was that other person thinking, whoever Thomas had been with before? I explained to Tiger that he was our #1 boy and Thomas was his cat to take care of. Tiger did teach Thomas. Most people did not believe us when we would tell that story, but it is all true. I think I mentioned in another post that from the day we brought Tiger home we always talked to him. We talked as if he understood what we were saying. And eventually he did understand.

One day I was looking for Thomas all over the house because he had an appointment with the vet. I had the carrier out and he had run to hide when he saw it. I finally asked Tiger where Thomas was hiding and could he show me. He led me right to where Thomas was hiding under one of the beds. Who says animals are dumb?

I am worried about Tiger. He will be 17 this year and is on medication for an overactive thyroid. He has lost a lot of teeth, so I can't give them dry food anymore. He is also very stubborn. He expects to get his way all the time. If I don't give in to him, he has ways to get back at me.

I worry because I had a female cat who lived to be almost 17 years old. It was when I lost her that my husband got Tiger for me. I got thru the loss of my female cat only because I had my husband here with me. How will I handle it when it is time for Tiger to go? And how will Thomas handle it? They have been together for almost 12 years.

Well, I will do what I usually do when these thoughts pop into my head. I'll put it off until tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

To Continue

2008-02-25T01:08:00.028-05:00

Well, I’m ready to continue where I left off last week. One of the movies I watched was "Moonlight Express” with Leslie Cheung. It is about a woman who’s fiancée dies in a car accident shortly before their wedding. In her pain and sadness, she goes to his hometown and his home. She finds a notebook he was keeping of things he wanted to show her and do with her. So she decides to follow the notebook. While she was out, she ran into a person who looked identical to her dead fiancée. Leslie Cheung played both parts. The thing is, both men were so different. Her fiancée looked like a gentle man and the detective was the opposite. Leslie Cheung did a good job, I thought, playing two different people. Anyway, this movie brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings for me. What would I do if I saw someone who looked exactly like my husband? How would I feel? How would I handle it? Does anyone know what they would do? It gives a person something to think about, doesn't it. I cried the first time I saw that movie and I cried the second time I tried to get thru it.

One of the many things I love about my computer and being online is being able to find information. When I saw an actor or actress in the many dramas I watched, I would look online to find out info on who they were. One of the dramas I watched was “Hana Yori Dango” and a cute little actor named Jun Matsumoto starred in it. When I looked him up, I found out he was in a boy band named Arashi. That got me started going into a whole new area. So not only was I looking for the other dramas Jun Matsumoto was in, but more about Arashi and their music. DramaWiki and Wikipedia are great web sites for information

Leslie Cheung

My Life After My Husband Died

2008-02-17T03:46:00.010-05:00

Well, I think I’m ready to talk about how I coped after my beloved husband died. I got into watching movies. Big time. When I was a young girl growing up, my father had gotten me interested in movies and actors. He would talk about John Wayne, Sal Mineo, and other actors that are all dead now, but at the time were very much alive and making movies. Kirk Douglas, Burt Lancaster, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, guys like that. My brothers and I grew up watching movies that children are not allowed to watch now. Movies about Dracula, the mummy, the werewolf, the “Creature From the Black Lagoon“, then there were the westerns, the musicals where I fell in love with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly, Judy Garland and others. The romantic movies. The martial art movies.

When my husband and I married, he was working with video production. He loved to talk about how something was done to make the movie, while we were watching it. So I learned a lot thru him. But he was always amazed at the information I would tell him about the actors we were watching. Most of the time he really didn’t even know their names, so he couldn’t figure out how I knew that stuff. Well, I have always loved to read. From the time I learned to read, I always had a book in my hand. Or a magazine.

I loved all sorts of movies, but because my husband’s eyesight wasn’t good anymore due to a surgery he had, I became his eyes when it came to reading. So subtitled movies were not something he enjoyed. I used to offer to read the subtitles for him but he didn’t think that would be fair to me. He said it would take away my enjoyment of the movie. But we loved the same kind of movies, mostly. We both loved martial art movies. Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jackie Chan.

After my husband died, I started watching subtitled movies. I fell in love with Jet Li and saw all his movies. Then I found Leslie Cheung and simply adored him, not just his movies and acting, but also his singing. Then I discovered that I could watch stuff on my computer. Wow!! That opened a whole new world for me!! I found Veoh and I watched a lot of anime and dramas. But it wasn’t enough. There were many dramas I would start to watch and find out that not all the episodes were uploaded for all of them. So I started hunting around online. I found other web sites that had dramas. My favorite used to be Crunchyroll . But there are many more places to look. There is Mysoju and AZVN TV . I have a whole list of dramas I want to watch and I am keeping a list of all the ones I have seen already. I do have my favorite actors and want to watch all the dramas they are in, of course.

It is late and my eyes are tired, so I will continue this another time.

Three Years

2008-02-11T10:20:00.001-05:00

It's been three years today since I lost my husband.

I really miss you, My Darling.

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Keeping Watch

2008-02-08T15:22:00.000-05:00

Tiger likes to keep watch on the neighborhood. It is a fairly quiet neighborhood, so there isn't much excitement for him to see. In the summer he watches the children playing outside. But they are all growing up and there are not many of them left around here. It is a good thing Tiger is alert. A couple of months ago someone tried to break in and Tiger let me know. I had the alarm on and all the locks were locked, but it was still frightening.

We have our groceries delivered by Peapod and Tiger knows that when I say Peapod is coming, he has more food coming in. When I say "Peapod is coming this morning", Tiger waits. When he hears the truck he goes to the front door and cries for me to open it. I have to hold Tiger in my arms while the drivers bring in the groceries so he does not run out or get stepped on. There are a few drivers that pat him and talk to him. If Tiger likes them he will stretch out his paw to touch them as they walk by with the bundles of groceries. I think he can tell the ones who like cats by their smell. They usually have cats of their own.

Tiger

2008-02-04T11:49:00.000-05:00

Why does Tiger think it is okay to be on my desk? He knows I don't like it, yet he still jumps up. Actually, he can't jump very high anymore due to his arthritis. He gets on the chair, then onto the desk. Does he look 17 years old? He will be this March. This May will be 17 years that he has been living with me.

That round yellow thingy was made for me by my granddaughter. I named it Sunshine. Isn't it cute? It is leaning against the vase so it can see me while I sit at my computer. I'm surprised that Tiger hasn't knocked Sunshine off the desk. He usually does that to my stuff. When he gets mad at me. Which is a lot lately. He sure has gotten cranky in his old age!

Housewife

2008-02-02T10:49:00.002-05:00

The other day my friend, Housewife, wrote something that really touched me. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea she thought of me that way. I had no idea I was of any help to anyone, and never had that image of myself. It always seemed that I was the one in need of help. Housewife says I didn’t judge her. Why should I? I had been judged all my life. People have judged me on my looks, my decisions, my health problems, so I know how horrible it can be. I have always taken people as they are. My husband was the first person who accepted me as I am, the whole package. He never tried to change me. Housewife is the second person in my whole life who never judged me and accepted me as I am.

A true friend does that. A true friend sees behind the “mask” we have to wear to face the world. A true friend takes us as we are, quirks, flaws, and all. A true friend does not have to be in contact every day, but always knows love and care are at the other end.

Housewife is the one who has been a help to me. Her emails have always sent her light and love my way. Whenever I opened my email and saw her name, it would bring a smile to my face. Housewife is also the second person in my life who has made me believe in myself. For most of my life I had been led to believe I wasn’t very good at anything. Then I met my husband and he always told me that I could do anything I set my heart on to do. Housewife has shown me that, also. She is the reason I decided to start my blog.

There are many days I have to fight falling into a depression, especially after my husband died. It isn’t always easy trying to stay in a positive frame of mind, being alone. But knowing I have a real friend out there in the world has helped me a great deal.

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What Do I Remember?

2008-01-31T13:03:00.000-05:00

An old friend of mine (someone I knew while we lived in Japan, in the early 70's) asked me what I remembered of Taiwan. Well, it was in the early 60’s, and I was very young, so there isn’t a lot I remember. Just bits and pieces, as I mentioned before. I was in the 3rd and 4th grade while there. We didn’t live on a base. The house we were in was the last house on the street we lived on. We could look down and see rice paddies. To get to the main street to catch the school bus, we had to walk past a house that had ducks running around. The ducks were mean and would chase us. One time the Taiwanese family that lived in that little house let my brother and me in to see the kittens that had been born.

I do remember that one morning my brother came running into the house early from a sleep-over he had at a friend’s house a few houses down. He ran in saying President Kennedy had been shot. We were able to see the news on the television.

My brother had a small rabbit as a pet. Sometimes that rabbit was allowed to run around the house for awhile, but not often because he would leave little “droppings” that had to be cleaned up. Even back then I loved to read. I used to lay on the floor in the living room and read. One time I was so engrossed in the book I was reading that I did not notice the rabbit was eating my hair! For the longest time the hair in that area would not grow.

I don’t remember the name of the school I went to in the 3rd grade, but I do remember learning how to do the Chinese jump rope. Then in 4th grade I went to a different school. It was run by nuns and they were mean. I mean, really mean.

My father got us a dog. A german shepherd whose parents had been the champions of the island. But my parents used to laugh because this dog was the biggest coward. While he was in the small back yard, he was brave and would bark at anyone who approached the house. But when he would break his chain and get loose, he was afraid of everyone and everything.

My mother wanted to adopt a cute little girl from an orphanage nearby, and we would have the little girl stay over sometimes. But we could not get her over her jealousy of my younger brother, who was the same age as the girl. I don’t know the whole story, but we did not adopt the girl. I always did want a younger sister, so I was unhappy. But I was happy with my two younger brothers. Back then, my brothers and I were close.

One thing that definitely sticks in my mind is the time I fell off a high wall. Because it did some damage to my lower back and I have suffered with that pain all my life. No one believed my pain, thinking I could not have hurt myself because I was so young. That’s how people thought back then, I guess. Anyway, I learned to ‘suffer” in silence. It wasn’t until I was a lot older that I had x-rays done and a doctor saw the damage. Over the years it all got worse, due to ignoring it.

Anyway, there isn't a lot I remember, as you can see.

Here is a map I found online.

2008-01-26T23:26:00.000-05:00

The other day I saw a Blue Jay outside my front door. It reminded of when Tiger was a young cat. At the house we lived in when he was younger, we had a nice back yard. He and I would sit out there every morning while I had my coffee. Tiger had a long, very long leash so he could walk all around the yard. We had a bird feeder hanging from the porch and I always threw peanuts out for the squirrels. Tiger never chased or went after the birds and squirrels. They were never afraid of him. Why? People believe that cats just naturally kill birds and chase squirrels. Why didn’t Tiger?

When Tiger was a kitten, he was extremely hyperactive and was always asking to go out. That is why I started our routine of sitting outside in the back with my coffee and Tiger on a leash. That way, he got his outside time and was supervised. I always believed in being a good Cat-Mommy. My husband said I was too over protective. Can a mother ever be too over protective of her babies? Anyway, one day a squirrel ran thru the yard and up a tree. Tiger watched, then strolled over to the tree, looking up at the squirrel. As I watched this, it looked as if they were having a conversation with each other. Maybe they were, who knows. After that, the squirrel slowly started bringing his friends over and they were never afraid. That’s why I would throw the peanuts out for them, thanking them for not being afraid of Tiger and being a friend to him.

When I decided to put up the bird feeder, I wasn’t too sure how Tiger would react to the birds. But he was the same with them. Never bothered them, just watched them. Even the Blue Jays who would go after the peanuts. Someone once told me that Blue Jays are mean birds and have been seen attacking cats. Why didn’t these Blue Jays ever bother Tiger? One day I observed as Tiger sat under our big tree in back, looking up at a Blue Jay sitting on a branch. It looked as if they were talking back and forth.

One thing my husband and I noticed is that Tiger never allowed another cat to come into our back yard. He would fight with them and they would stay away. Was he protecting his friends, the birds and squirrels? My husband and I liked to think so.

I Am Blessed

2008-01-23T20:01:00.000-05:00

One day when my husband was in the hospital, while sitting outside his room in ICU in tears, the hospital chaplain walked by. He saw my tears and stopped to say a few words. After that, he would stop by occasionally to talk if he saw me. During one of our talks, I mentioned that even though we were going through this hardship right now, how blessed we have been in our life together. My husband came into my life at just the right time, when my heart was beginning to harden. He showed me what real love was all about. True love. Unconditional love. After we had been married about 3 years, his mother came to live with us when she got sick and could not live alone anymore. She was a wonderful woman and she is the one who had taught her son how to be a good person.

Because of things life had thrown at my husband, he had not seen his older daughter for awhile and did not have a close relationship with her. But she came to the house to visit her grandmother and I met her. We slowly got to know one another and my husband and his daughter started seeing each other in a “different light” than what they saw before. They began their new relationship. It might not have happened if my mother-in-law had not been living with us and her grandchildren coming to the house to visit with her. So, even though we were losing a wonderful and dear woman, something good came out of it.

Same thing happened when my husband went into the hospital 9 years later. His 2 daughters had not seen each other for quite a few years and lost touch. Through visiting their father, they got in touch again. If they have stayed in touch or not, I'm not sure. But at least, their father saw and knew about them seeing each other, and talking and exchanging phone numbers and email addresses. It made him very happy. So even though we were losing him, something good came out of it.

The chaplain said that at a time like that, most people look at the dark side of things. I explained that my husband is the one who taught me to look at the good side of things. He never looked for the bad in people. He only saw the good in them. Several years ago, while he was mentoring 2 young men, I mentioned to my husband that they were stealing from him. He just replied that they must need it more than he did. That is the kind of man I married.

I tell my young granddaughters that Grandpa gave me a wonderful gift when he married me. He was a wonderful husband and he gave me a wonderful family. His daughter and her husband have been so good to me. She is more than a stepdaughter. She is a fabulous woman, wife and mother. And friend. Then, through her, I have 2 great, wonderful granddaughters who I love very much and who love me in return. Who could ask for more? My life is good.

I have read a lot of stories of women who lose a spouse and the spouse's children "throw the wife away". My husband's daughter did not do that to me. She was in pain because of losing her father, but she held me together. She helped me with the funeral arrangements and got me through the wake and funeral. She does not care that we are not "flesh and blood" as some do. We are family. They have me over to their home for holidays. We talk on the phone all the time. We email all the time. She always lets me know what is happening with my granddaughters. She lets me know I am loved.

I may have lost the love of my life and was not fortunate to have him for very long, but I gained so much because of him. My life is blessed. God has been good to me.

What Am I

2008-01-19T12:21:00.000-05:00

I am what people call a "military brat" or an "overseas brat". My father was in the Air Force so we moved a lot. Most people would enjoy that, I think. Not me. I had always longed for roots. Going to a different school every year is not my idea of fun. When I was younger we spent 2 years in Taiwan. I don't remember a lot about it, just bits and pieces. But my last 2 years of high school we were stationed in Tokyo, Japan. Could that be why I enjoy watching subtitled Asian dramas?
I didn't really develop this "love" of them until after my husband died. Mostly because we didn't watch anything that was subtitled. His eyes were not good enough to read the subtitles and he didn't think it was fair to have me read everything out loud for him. Actually, he called me his eyes. I usually read a lot of stuff out loud for him. We both enjoyed that. I love to read, anyway.

Later I will write about after my husband died, but right now is not a good time. It is getting too close to the anniversary of his death and I am trying real hard not to get into a depressed state of mind. Sometimes talking about him helps, sometimes not. I don't always know what mood I will be in when I wake up in the morning. Maybe it depends on the dreams I have while sleeping? But lately Tiger has been getting on my nerves more than usual. I think he is not happy with my moods and he can tell what is going on. He and my husband were very close. They had a strong bond. Sometimes I can feel him tense up if I mention Daddy.

First Post

2008-01-12T15:57:00.000-05:00

Well, this is my first post. What should I talk about? I used to have a wonderful and happy home until my husband died. He had C.O.P.D. for a long time. Not everyone knows what C.O.P.D. is. It is Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, meaning he had to be on oxygen full time or he could not breathe very well. He was a very good husband, treating me very well. His nickname for me was Princess. It has taken a long time for the pain in my chest not take over whenever I think of him. He is always on my mind, always in the back of my mind, no matter what I do. Our two boys, our cats, have kept me sane, mostly.